Categories: Short Sayings

17 Nov 2010, Comments (1)

TSA Security

Author: Hawk

With the new airport security I was wondering — If I use falsetto, can I get someone of the opposite sex to feel me up?

Categories:
Humor,Short Sayings,Uncategorized

8 Aug 2010, Comments (0)

Progressive Liberal

Author: Hawk

Now that Democrats have started calling themselves progressives, I’ve started calling myself a liberal. Sometimes I call myself a conservative depending on who I want to piss off.

Categories:
Politics,Short Sayings
Tags:
conservative, democrat, liberal, progressive

5 Jul 2010, Comments (0)

Some stores sell athletic fit t-shirts where the waist is smaller than the chest. I’m fat, so they don’t fit me quite right. I found I can get around the problem by buying extra large. That’s an oxymoron — athletic fit extra large.

Categories:
Humor,Short Sayings,Uncategorized
Tags:
athletic, large, oxymoron, shirt

23 Mar 2010, Comments (0)

Picking Phone

Author: Hawk

The phone rang while I was picking my nose. I cut myself with my fingernail. There was quite a bit of blood. Just one of many things that makes me feel stupid. Fortunately, it was somebody I could hang up on.

Categories:
Short Sayings,Uncategorized
Tags:
nose, phone, picking

20 Mar 2010, Comments (0)

Open Mike Tuesday

Author: Hawk

Somebody got on the intercom at Walmart and asked all black people to leave. What he did was wrong. What if a store competing against Walmart announced open mike Tuesday where anybody could make weird announcements? People might end up going there just to hear strange stuff.

Categories:
Short Sayings,Uncategorized

18 Mar 2010, Comments (0)

Green Stuff

Author: Hawk

Ah, now comes the day after Saint Patrick’s day. After all the green beer and green food coloring comes the green turd.

Categories:
Short Sayings,Uncategorized

8 Mar 2010, Comments (0)

Silly Roomba

Author: Hawk

I came home from work and my Roomba was missing. I looked in all the rooms. I looked under the bed and it wasn’t there. I found it in the closet. It apparently hit the door once to open it and hit the door again to close it. Silly Roomba.