Israel and Jordan Trip

Who are the villains in the health care debacle?  My list:

Republican Leadership: The party of no.

Mitt Romney: He supported a move towards universal coverage in his home state of Massachusetts.  In the national debate, he fell in line with Republican leadership.  He could have been a voice for reason on the Republican side, but he wasn’t.  As governor, he never pardoned anybody which suggests that he’s a cold bastard.

Max Baucus: He dragged his feet and he larded up the bill with taxes that nobody else wanted.  He absolutely loved the idea of taxing health plans.  It is one reason the bill ran into friction.  I saw something about reducing Medicare which is also a dangerous thing to do.  We should have got this bill out of the way before Scott Brown won.

Joseph Lieberman: For expanding Medicare before he was against it.

Barack Obama: He never threw out his own proposal.  Early on, he promised revenue neutral which gave Baucus the green light to add taxes to his plan.  I agree that we need taxes, but if you tax anything within the health care system, you increase the cost of health care.  It is better to simply raise income taxes.

Harry Reid: Oh My God, they might filibuster.  I better hide under a rock.  I won’t even bother submitting the bill for a vote.

Some People criticized Max Baucus for giving a speech while drunk.  My feeling is that that’s the only time when politicians are honest.  They should get drunk more often.  From time to time, they hold congressional hearings on this or that.  Everybody should get plastered.

The Supreme Court allowed unlimited corporate money in political campaigns.  Many conservatives are applauding this decision, but there is a problem here.  Many corporations are strongly pro-immigrant.  Corporations control big media, lobbyist, and now you congressman.  Many people complain that the government doesn’t crack down on companies that hire illegal immigrants.  That’s just going to get worse.

Democrats are planning to scale back their reform package, but they could go the opposite direction.  Now that they don’t have 60 votes, they don’t need Joe Lieberman.  They can come up with a plan he doesn’t like — they can bring the public option back.  They just need something that 51 senators like.

Harry Reid is terrified of filibusters.  Why not let Republicans filibuster?  A filibuster can’t last forever.

Health care reform can be divided into 2 categories — universal coverage and everything else.  46 million uninsured is the elephant in the room.  If we ignore the elephant in the room, then we end up with a rather anemic bill.  The only thing that Democrats and Republicans agree on is the little stuff.  Tort reform is nice, but it is one of the little things.

I don’t buy into the argument that we need a gradual approach to universal coverage.  If two people are arguing about where to build a house, they could compromise and build a house between the two islands.  Sometimes the compromise solution isn’t very good.

I’m in a field where age discrimination is a problem.  There is no guarantee that I’ll be able to remain employed between now and 65.  There are lots of occupations, such as computer programmer and auto mechanic where age discrimination is a problem.

Return of Darth Maul

 I have been thinking through an alternate version of Star Wars 3 where Anakin turns to the dark side.

My version:

0.1% of the Jedi can read minds, but it is highly illegal to read minds without a court order.  Anakin can’t resist.  He just has to know where Padmé got her Sith light saber.  She doesn’t know who Darth Sidious is, so Anakin doesn’t get any useful information.  She  bought it from homeless legless street vendor named Ogo.  They have a fight about the mind reading and Ogo offers to teach her a few mind tricks so she can protect herself.  Thus begins her Sith training without her knowing that she’s Sith.  Ogo is Darth Maul.

On the one hand, Darth Sidious wants to promote Padmé to Sith lord even though she refuses to be evil.  On the other hand, he wants the Jedi to kill her, because that would generate bad publicity for the Jedi.  In Prequel 2, Anakin loses his temper and kills a bunch of people.  In this movie, a false witness shows up and blames Padmé.  Anakin is in a difficult position.  He knows that Padmé is innocent.  If he walks into Jedi headquarters and says that he murdered 25 people, that won’t sit well with the Jedi.  He has to flounder around for a solution.

Anakin and Padmé combine Jedi and Sith mind techniques to produce a new mind trick that has never been done before.  They figure out how to send false images to a mind reader.  Padmé also learns a couple secret Jedi locations.  With daily mind reading sessions, Anakin is receiving Sith training indirectly.

Padmé schedules a mind reading session with Jedi judges and projects and image of Yoda killing those people.  Anakin isn’t happy about it, but their stories have to match, so he projects the same false image.  Yoda gets arrested.  Obi-Won is sent to investigate the old fashioned way — Interview witnesses and dust for finger prints.  Darth Sidious tells Padmé that he already knows how to do that mind trick and he wants to see how good she is.  She accidentally teaches him that trick.

Palpatine projects the final false image — The location of Darth Sidious and his secret army.  It’s a trap.  A few well placed nukes take out the Jedi.  Yoda survives, because he’s in jail.  Obi-Wan finds evidence to exonerate him.

Fight Scene 1:

Darth Maul lives in a dangerous neighborhood.  Padmé is attacked by 4 local thugs.  She grabs a spear from a street vendor and fights them.  Darth Maul comes to her defense.  His two weapons are light saber and blow dart.  He can operate the blow dart hands free.  He puts a small tube in his mouth where it can’t be seen.  When he wants, it telescopes out he blows.  She is grateful and he sells her a sith light saber.

Fight Scene 2:

Anakin wears a mask and attacks Darth Maul.  Initially, they are in a private place.  Maul’s light saber is knocked away so now he is unarmed.  Maul falls out a window into a public place.  Anakin follows.  Padmé comes to Maul’s defense, but she loses her light saber within 5 seconds.  Anakin knocks her down.  She screams “There are eye witnesses here.”  Anakin looks around and sees a TV reporter staring at him.  Two Jedi are running towards him with light sabers drawn.  Anakin puts his light saber away.  Two Jedi escort Anakin away.  A reporter runs up.  Darth Maul starts crying and talking about how bad the Jedi are.  Maul says “I didn’t do anything.  I don’t know why he attacked me.  He tried to kill me.  I didn’t do anything.”

When they get back to Jedi headquarters, the Jedi attitude is “What’s the point of killing two crappy Sith.  Let’s put them under surveillance and try to find out who Darth Sidious is.”

Fight Scene 3:

Ludmilla is woman who is the same species as Darth Maul.  They are in a bar and spot Obi-Wan.

                Maul: That’s the Jedi who chopped my legs off.

                Ludmilla: Maybe I’ll get to know him better.  Do you want to see a magic trick?

                Maul: Sure.

Ludmilla opens her hand to reveal a condom.

                Ludmilla: Now you see it.

She turns her hand.

                Ludmilla: Now you don’t.  Watch this.

She walks up to Mac Windu and acts sexy.

                Ludmilla: Hi there.

                Obi-Wan: Hi.

She starts to pull his light saber out.

                Ludmilla: I always like a man with a good light saber.

He grabs her hand and puts the light saber back.

                Obi-Wan: Nobody messes with my light saber.

                Ludmilla: I was just testing your legendary Jedi reflexes.

                Obi-Wan: Yes, well don’t.

                Ludmilla: Obviously, I’ve offended you, so I’ll leave now.

                Obi-Wan: Bye.

Ludmilla walks away, then suddenly she turns and draws her light saber.

                Ludmilla: I’m going to kill you!

The knight draws his light saber which has a condom on it.  There is also some glue that messes with the buttons.  His light saber doesn’t work.

                Obi-Wan: Ahhhh!

Ludmilla’s light saber smashes the table.  Obi-Wan begins back pedaling and ducking behind tables as people get out of the way and she smashes tables.

                Obi-Wan: What did you do to my light saber?

                Ludmilla: You’re not so tough now, are you.

                Obi-Wan: And what’s this sticky liquid?

A bartender is cutting lemons.

                Obi-Wan: I need a knife.

He gets a knife from the bartender and does a back flip over the bar and ducks.  He finally gets his light saber working as Ludmilla jumps up onto the bar.  He isn’t standing up yet when his light saber does a sweeping stroke along the bar.  Ludmilla jumps to avoid it.  She does a back flip off the bar.  Obi-Wan does a forward flip over the bar.  Obi-Wan attacks and now it is Ludmilla’s turn to back pedal.  He is a better sword fighter.

                Ludmilla: I wasn’t trying to kill you.  I was just joking with you.

                Obi-Wan: I don’t believe you.

Eventually, she backs up to where Maul is and he draws his light saber.

                Obi-Wan: Were you serious when you said you weren’t trying to kill me?

                Ludmilla: Yes.

                Obi-Wan: I’ll give you a chance to prove it.

He puts his light saber away.  After a pause, Ludmilla puts hers away as well.  Then Maul puts his away.

I can walk for miles, so when I walk, I don’t feel old. Then I jump. It feels like they put Velcro on the wrong part of my show, because I’m stuck to the ground.

You are only as young as you feel, until you attempt to jump.  Then you’re old.

Even if Pat Robertson’s story is true, what sort of God waits 200 years before getting revenge? A dozen guys have a Voodoo party. 200 years later, God smites someone who just happens to be standing on the same spot.

Something they could use on the Simpsons:

Star of such movies as “The attack of the slightly off center woman”, “The attack of the more off center woman” and “Help she’s fallen and can’t get up.”