Israel and Jordan Trip

Normally, math and psychology are separate fields, but they come together in calculating the odds of a nuclear disaster. You can hire engineers to calculate the probably of a nuclear meltdown. The calculation itself is a math question, but getting them to do a good job is a psychological question. What if their boss is evil? What if there is disagreement and the corporation suppresses the bad reports? The drug industry also has a problem with companies suppressing reports.

One of the complaints about the original Jurassic Park movie was “Who would design a zoo where if the power failed, the animals would escape?” I have the same question about nuclear power plants. Who would design nuclear power plant such that if the power failed, the plant would blow up?

News organizations are a bit two-faced about Lindsay Lohan. Sex sells, so they like to put a picture of a sexy lady on television. When she wears a sexy dress to court, they put that on television and then they criticize her for wearing a sexy dress. If they didn’t cover the story, nobody would care.

Years ago, the press criticized Britney Spears for not wearing panties. I blame the paparazzi for taking up-skirt shots. They had to align their cameras just right to get these shots.

You can run but you can’t hide unless you’re a Roomba. Today, I searched everywhere for my Roomba and couldn’t find it. Eventually, I found it under the recliner. I didn’t know that it could get there.

On a previous occasion, it opened a closet door by hitting it, went into the closet, and then closed the door by hitting it. It was trapped and it took me a long time to find it.

All these tax cuts make me nervous. We have a budget deficit to deal with and without tax increases, the deficit won’t be brought under control. In the short run, everyone is trying to stimulate the economy. The problem is that the recession may last for years. We can’t keep these deficits up for an extended time period. The way to fix the job market is through tariffs. Neither party is proposing that.

With the new airport security I was wondering — If I use falsetto, can I get someone of the opposite sex to feel me up?

I’m shocked, shocked to learn that Keith Olbermann might be biased. I had no idea.

Now that Democrats have started calling themselves progressives, I’ve started calling myself a liberal. Sometimes I call myself a conservative depending on who I want to piss off.

Some stores sell athletic fit t-shirts where the waist is smaller than the chest. I’m fat, so they don’t fit me quite right. I found I can get around the problem by buying extra large. That’s an oxymoron — athletic fit extra large.

I thought up an office prank. You design a shirt, such as a pink business shirt with a picture of the Pentagon on it. You hand them out to all the people who show up on time to work and ask them to put them on. A woman named Rachel hands out forms for them to sign. They get $100 initially plus a $100 bonus if they go along with the gag. Rachel disappears.

When people show up late for work, the early birds don’t tell them anything useful. They tell them that they have to sign a form before they can tell them what is going on. Rachel has the forms, but nobody can find Rachel. Film the late comers wondering around acting confused. This gag is expensive, so only a high budget television show could pull it off.