{"id":20,"date":"2010-01-18T19:30:47","date_gmt":"2010-01-19T03:30:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/2010\/star-wars-3-alternate-version\/"},"modified":"2010-01-26T20:13:40","modified_gmt":"2010-01-27T04:13:40","slug":"star-wars-3-alternate-version","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/2010\/star-wars-3-alternate-version\/","title":{"rendered":"Star Wars 3 – Alternate Version"},"content":{"rendered":"

Return of Darth Maul<\/span><\/h2>\n

\u00a0I have been thinking through an alternate version of Star Wars 3 where Anakin turns to the dark side.<\/p>\n

My version:<\/p>\n

0.1% of the Jedi can read minds, but it is highly illegal to read minds without a court order.\u00a0 Anakin can’t resist.\u00a0 He just has to know where Padm\u00e9 got her Sith light saber.\u00a0 She doesn’t know who Darth Sidious is, so Anakin doesn’t get any useful information.\u00a0 She\u00a0 bought it from homeless legless street vendor named Ogo.\u00a0 They have a fight about the mind reading and Ogo offers to teach her a few mind tricks so she can protect herself.\u00a0 Thus begins her Sith training without her knowing that she’s Sith.\u00a0 Ogo is Darth Maul.<\/p>\n

On the one hand, Darth Sidious wants to promote Padm\u00e9 to Sith lord even though she refuses to be evil.\u00a0 On the other hand, he wants the Jedi to kill her, because that would generate bad publicity for the Jedi.\u00a0 In Prequel 2, Anakin loses his temper and kills a bunch of people.\u00a0 In this movie, a false witness shows up and blames Padm\u00e9.\u00a0 Anakin is in a difficult position.\u00a0 He knows that Padm\u00e9 is innocent.\u00a0 If he walks into Jedi headquarters and says that he murdered 25 people, that won’t sit well with the Jedi.\u00a0 He has to flounder around for a solution.<\/p>\n

Anakin and Padm\u00e9 combine Jedi and Sith mind techniques to produce a new mind trick that has never been done before.\u00a0 They figure out how to send false images to a mind reader.\u00a0 Padm\u00e9 also learns a couple secret Jedi locations.\u00a0 With daily mind reading sessions, Anakin is receiving Sith training indirectly.<\/p>\n

Padm\u00e9 schedules a mind reading session with Jedi judges and projects and image of Yoda killing those people.\u00a0 Anakin isn’t happy about it, but their stories have to match, so he projects the same false image.\u00a0 Yoda gets arrested.\u00a0 Obi-Won is sent to investigate the old fashioned way — Interview witnesses and dust for finger prints.\u00a0 Darth Sidious tells Padm\u00e9 that he already knows how to do that mind trick and he wants to see how good she is.\u00a0 She accidentally teaches him that trick.<\/p>\n

Palpatine projects the final false image — The location of Darth Sidious and his secret army.\u00a0 It’s a trap.\u00a0 A few well placed nukes take out the Jedi.\u00a0 Yoda survives, because he’s in jail.\u00a0 Obi-Wan finds evidence to exonerate him.<\/p>\n

Fight Scene 1:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Darth Maul lives in a dangerous neighborhood.\u00a0 Padm\u00e9 is attacked by 4 local thugs.\u00a0 She grabs a spear from a street vendor and fights them.\u00a0 Darth Maul comes to her defense.\u00a0 His two weapons are light saber and blow dart.\u00a0 He can operate the blow dart hands free.\u00a0 He puts a small tube in his mouth where it can’t be seen.\u00a0 When he wants, it telescopes out he blows.\u00a0 She is grateful and he sells her a sith light saber.<\/p>\n

Fight Scene 2:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Anakin wears a mask and attacks Darth Maul.\u00a0 Initially, they are in a private place.\u00a0 Maul’s light saber is knocked away so now he is unarmed.\u00a0 Maul falls out a window into a public place.\u00a0 Anakin follows.\u00a0 Padm\u00e9 comes to Maul’s defense, but she loses her light saber within 5 seconds.\u00a0 Anakin knocks her down.\u00a0 She screams “There are eye witnesses here.”\u00a0 Anakin looks around and sees a TV reporter staring at him.\u00a0 Two Jedi are running towards him with light sabers drawn.\u00a0 Anakin puts his light saber away.\u00a0 Two Jedi escort Anakin away.\u00a0 A reporter runs up.\u00a0 Darth Maul starts crying and talking about how bad the Jedi are.\u00a0 Maul says “I didn’t do anything.\u00a0 I don’t know why he attacked me.\u00a0 He tried to kill me.\u00a0 I didn’t do anything.”<\/p>\n

When they get back to Jedi headquarters, the Jedi attitude is “What’s the point of killing two crappy Sith.\u00a0 Let’s put them under surveillance and try to find out who Darth Sidious is.”<\/p>\n

Fight Scene 3:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ludmilla is woman who is the same species as Darth Maul.\u00a0 They are in a bar and spot Obi-Wan.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Maul<\/strong>: That’s the Jedi who chopped my legs off.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: Maybe I’ll get to know him better.\u00a0 Do you want to see a magic trick?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Maul<\/strong>: Sure.<\/p>\n

Ludmilla opens her hand to reveal a condom.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: Now you see it.<\/p>\n

She turns her hand.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: Now you don’t.\u00a0 Watch this.<\/p>\n

She walks up to Mac Windu and acts sexy.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: Hi there.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: Hi.<\/p>\n

She starts to pull his light saber out.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: I always like a man with a good light saber.<\/p>\n

He grabs her hand and puts the light saber back.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: Nobody messes with my light saber.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: I was just testing your legendary Jedi reflexes.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: Yes, well don’t.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: Obviously, I’ve offended you, so I’ll leave now.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: Bye.<\/p>\n

Ludmilla walks away, then suddenly she turns and draws her light saber.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: I’m going to kill you!<\/p>\n

The knight draws his light saber which has a condom on it.\u00a0 There is also some glue that messes with the buttons.\u00a0 His light saber doesn’t work.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: Ahhhh!<\/p>\n

Ludmilla’s light saber smashes the table.\u00a0 Obi-Wan begins back pedaling and ducking behind tables as people get out of the way and she smashes tables.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: What did you do to my light saber?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: You’re not so tough now, are you.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: And what’s this sticky liquid?<\/p>\n

A bartender is cutting lemons.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: I need a knife.<\/p>\n

He gets a knife from the bartender and does a back flip over the bar and ducks.\u00a0 He finally gets his light saber working as Ludmilla jumps up onto the bar.\u00a0 He isn’t standing up yet when his light saber does a sweeping stroke along the bar.\u00a0 Ludmilla jumps to avoid it.\u00a0 She does a back flip off the bar.\u00a0 Obi-Wan does a forward flip over the bar.\u00a0 Obi-Wan attacks and now it is Ludmilla’s turn to back pedal.\u00a0 He is a better sword fighter.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: I wasn’t trying to kill you.\u00a0 I was just joking with you.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: I don’t believe you.<\/p>\n

Eventually, she backs up to where Maul is and he draws his light saber.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: Were you serious when you said you weren’t trying to kill me?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ludmilla<\/strong>: Yes.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Obi-Wan<\/strong>: I’ll give you a chance to prove it.<\/p>\n

He puts his light saber away.\u00a0 After a pause, Ludmilla puts hers away as well.\u00a0 Then Maul puts his away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An alternate version of Star Wars 3 where Anakin turns to the dark side and the Jedi are destroyed. This is very different.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[22,17,31,19,18,23,97],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21,"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/n676.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}